Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
