Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
