That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sext me about skeletons
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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