What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
