smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
