I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
