You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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