I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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