I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
