actually, I'm a sock model
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
