somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love you. Go after that dick
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
that may or may not have been my penis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
