We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
