Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
