My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
