I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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