giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize