We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
