my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize