My Higher Power is John Stamos
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
