I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
