So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
