you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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