also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
