I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize