i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
