he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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