Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So vagazzling was a success
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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