I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
