Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
