I didn't shave. On purpose
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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