Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
