seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
