I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
