If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
