We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
