we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
