I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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