FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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