she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
