If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
