The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize