Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
