Don't you send me to vm
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
