you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
