i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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