Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
