Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
