i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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