The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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