I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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