Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize