Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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