I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
