It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize