oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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