Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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