I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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