this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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