Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
