brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
