areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
