Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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