Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
