I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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