Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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