she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
